Moving...

Yeah... I'm trying to move on... If that means I have to move to other town to forget you... I will... I'm right now...

Still love you, but loving you now is killing me slowly...

The Different Me

Yes.. here I am.....

Been awhile... since.... the last time I post something here....

My life now, I don’t know whether I should say it getting worst, flat or just keeps better. My love life sucks, my real job is now, uhm, all I can say is I need a raise, my side jobs keep me living, and me? myself? been to the gym for the last 2 months, try to keep healthy.

Actually, the reason why I go to gym because I want to go to Bali this December. I want to be in better shape. Well, that was my purpose before something ruined it. Well, one the bosses at the office told me that we are going to make a movie, Yeay!!!! but the thing is, they need me to help them...... D’oh.... Since they wanted to start the production next year, i meant early next year, so there will be no Bali for me this December! Goodbye my precious Bali.... So, after they decided on my life like that, hell, why not I work as hell! Yes! Now i have two “other offices”, like this two production house that pay me better than my office. Pay me better in a way, that pay me based on projects, but they do pay me good! Actually, I can quit the office and just work for both of them, but the thing is, I love making movies, and this is my chance to really learn how to make one. Like really being involved in a production. It’s challenging, and this is what I’ve been looking for. So, here I am, been busy like hell, well, not really now, I’m enjoying the life at home, since I’m almost like a month didn’t go back home, and have bitsy tiny time to update you guys about my life.

I have been having fun though with the real job, been to Wamena, Papua. Fantastic place...

Secondly, about the love life... This is the hardest part. I don’t know what happened between us, I’ve tried everything, but it seemed it just won’t work out. I did everything he wanted in a relationship, but now, it’s just.... I don’t know.... got lost, with the love feelings that I have for him.....

This afternoon, two words came out of my mind, bipolar disorder, yes, I’m so afraid that’ll happen again if I loose him, but I have to be strong right? I’m so pathetic and weak....

Well... I don’t know what will happen in the future, all I can do now is only do the best, right?

New Layout!

Menyenangkan!

Seorang teman membuat hari saya cukup menyenangkan... Dia membuatkan saya layout untuk plurk saya.... temanya Andy Warhol! Hie3x... menyenangkan... :)

Kembali ke....

Yesh! Gw kembali ke rumah sakit, 4 hari, diagnosa penyakit? Undiagnosed! Ha3x! Gejala Db ada tapi bukan... Gejala tipes ada tapi juga bukan... Bingung khan? Nyokap memutuskan akhirnya gw di rumah sakit aja, soalnya tromobosit juga turun mendadak....

Di detik-detik keberangkatan gw untuk berangkat ke Papua, kenapa harus sakit sih??? Untung banget sih diundur jadwalnya, karena si klien juga sibuk bener... Keq3x...

2 minggu yang cukup menyebalkan di rumah dan di rumah sakit, karena 1 minggu pertama, asli gw gak bisa ngapa-ngapain. Makanan semua rasanya jadi aneh, kata adek gw sih itu karena pas panas gw mencapai 40 derajat, yah semuanya jadi aneh, enzim dan sistem imun gw berubah total. Sebel banget sih, gw gak bisa makan 1 minggu pertama, karena semua yang masuk di mulut gw itu rasanya aneh, even rasanya air minum itu juga aneh! Gw mencoba minum jus... pwwweeeehhhhh!!!! Pengen nangis rasanya... Tapi mau gimana lagi.... 

Yah bener juga sih keputusan nyokap buat masukin gw ke rumah sakit, karena akhirnya gw dikasih obat mual, dan obat apalah itu lagi yang bisa bikin gw bisa makan. Makan bubur terus plus lauk2nya sih.. dan gradually makanan itu satu2 bisa gw abisin, walaupun pas di hari terakhir gak gw abisin, karena tiba-tiba gw ngidam mcd... Hahahhahahhaaa!!!

Hari kepulangan gw dirayakan dengan memesan PHD! Rada kalap makannya.. sambil tidur dikit, karena gw masih pusink buat duduk, tapi dahsyat bok! Gw bener-bener makan! Nyokap sih senyum-senyum aja, secara akhirnya gw bisa makan.... Keq3x... 

Ya sudahlah, gw mau sehat lagi nih... Balik sudah ke kantor... Secara mau berangkat ke Papua.... maarriiii!!!!!!!

Clueless.....(?)

I had fever last night... but I made it through.. Lol... well... now it's easy for me to get sick when I overworked... My friend told me to "talk" with my sickness, and "it" tells me to rest all day, then I should... So, I did go home a bit early last night, around 7 pm, back to my beloved room, and straight directly sleeping. Wrapped up tight in my blanket to get all the sweats out..... 

I woke up this morning a bit light and fresh, the last night sleep was helping me a lot, but yeah, I went to the office late...

I will not lie that I miss my boyfriend, he is on-leave for a week, so I'll be meeting him next week, I do hope we can talk when he already comes back to the office. Talking about things, catching up some stuffs, what has been happening in this week... etc etc etc...

When I got to the office this morning, suddenly I'm feeling in the mood for making photos of me! Yeay! A bit narcism! Ha3!!!!

I'm a bit clueless today, what should I do and everything, since there's a person who already resign and not updating me with the work which the person left them to me. *clueless*

Well, here comes the weekend! *smiling* 

Love Will Kill

Hampir sebulan dari tanggal gw berangkat ke dili... dan hampir sebulan juga.. dari kedatangan gw pulang dari dili... dan hampir sebulan juga.... dia berubah....

I dreamt fro 7 months and it was ruined in 10 days..

I was confused and didn't know what to do....

Now, my love either a burden for him or he just simply doesn't love me as mush as he used to be.....

My friend told me.... Give both a break.... And I do.... and I suffered.... from my love for him.....

and i simply killed slowly... by this love....

Perjalanan Selanjutnya

Sudah 3 minggu ini gue mendadak menjadi seorang produser... yes, a p.r.o.d.u.c.e.r. Shockingly, I'm now... For the ILO Project, not 1 but 2, and 6 videos..... What did happen really? Jadi orang yang menangangi project itu kemarin bulan Maret resign dari kantor, dan memilih untuk menjadi freelance saja. Karena gue yang selalu menemani dia waktu ketemu orang ILO dan yang ngebantuin dia, jadilah gue yang melanjutkan kerjaan ini. Wao! Banyak sekali yang memang harus gue persiapkan. Mana yang projec 5 video ini adalah project Loro Jonggrang pula! Aaaahh!!!! Pusing banget sih, tapi gue sangat senang! Karena gue sangat menikmatinya! he3x.... Daripada gue duduk depan kompuet, main game gak jelas, dan ahirnya gue stress karena ide-ide di otak gue gak keluar. Pusink! Lebih baik ketahuan gue emang cape karena bener-bener kerja. Yes, thank you God! Gue dikasih kesempatan untuk menjadi produser. 

Gak cuman itu sih, gue belajar juga nulis naskah untuk video 5 menit itu, narasi, trus wawancara, belajar logging juga... Yeah! akhirnya gw merasakan yang namanya produksi dan post produksi! he3x.. belajar wawancara orang juga... he3x.. serulah pokoknya...

Yang paling seru sih berikutnya juga, kalau jadi yah, gue akan berangkat ke Dili untuk sebulan gitu. Seru banget! Buat kerja yang pastinya! Belajar research, lalu recce, sama-sama dengan Mba Tika juga bikin naskah! Ah itu seru banget! Yang tambah bikin seru adalah, kita juga kerja bareng sama local crewnya dari TLMDC (Timor Leste Media Developmnet Center). He3x... 

Gue deg-degan banget nungguin berangkat nih, tanggal 19 April ini. Hie3x.... Yuk ah mulai kerja lagi.... he3x... 

Oia, ini photo gue paling baruw! :P Enjoy!