The Need To Move On

I realize, I need to move on, to be a better me, to have better life, and just make one step forward ahead....

SO, I've been busy again this last week, handling the other project from the other office, with one of the clients that flirts with me, on the phone! blah! I don't like him, because from the very beginning, I already drew the line between clients and me, but that doesn't mean my 'nice' attitude should be interpreted as 'I'm flirting with you so you can flirt with me', HELL NOO!!!! and i'm beginning to act not nice to him, but nice to his partners and bosses. Yes, and that doesn't feel right. :( Oh dear God, help me...

So what I want to tell actually is I did try to move on, last nite, regarding the 'heart' side. I went out, with a guy, nice, he has the same belief with me, we shared stories, plenty of it! We laughed, and in that almost 5 hours together, we did have a good time. We had dinner, watched movie, and went to Kemang to buy DVDs.

We met blok m plaza, he picked me up there, had dinner at roti bakar eddy, and back to blok m plaza again, watched Shutter Island, afterwards we wen to Kemang festival, and I bought Glee the whole episodes of season 1.... I'm ready to have Glee Maratahon tonite... lol... :P and my brother picked me up in Kemang, and I smiled all night... :)

I know I need to be really careful again.. Really careful... I'm easily broken....

But I need to move on... I'm... I think... Slowly....

UPDATING!!!

It's been like ages I didn't update my blog. Oh well, because twitter and plurk, I really couldn't write anything more than 140 characters. LOL... So, here we go...

What recently happened with me? Not much, I've been living as 'unofficially' single for few months now, and somehow, I think I'm preparing myself to be officially single. It's hard though, but I have to try, love can be unrealistic, but now I have to learn to be realistic, to use my logic. That's hard... he3x...

What have I been doing? I've been doing many things, from my real job to my side jobs that would take my morning sleep... yeah, been lack of sleep almost 1 month, because I finished my side job in the morning, and most of them are post productions. Oh well, I

m having fun though with it. :)

What else.. what else? Oh, I think I have a crush for someone, but let me cool down for awhile, think it through all over again, and perhaps this is the one for me.. Amen... Since we have the same faith, why not I promised myself that this has to be the last one? I'm tired of the uncertainty in love.. Though I know love is uncertain most of the time... But just this one O' Lord, to complete what I've been missing a lot.... If he is the one for me, let it be Your will, because You know what's best for me.. :)

Uhm... what else what else... not much again, I've take some diet pills, I think I'm too much now... lol... I need to wear some of the old good stuffs U have... he3x..

Oh well, I think that's it for now... Will continue later... Ciao Amigo!! :) tee hee..

Moving...

Yeah... I'm trying to move on... If that means I have to move to other town to forget you... I will... I'm right now...

Still love you, but loving you now is killing me slowly...

The Different Me

Yes.. here I am.....

Been awhile... since.... the last time I post something here....

My life now, I don’t know whether I should say it getting worst, flat or just keeps better. My love life sucks, my real job is now, uhm, all I can say is I need a raise, my side jobs keep me living, and me? myself? been to the gym for the last 2 months, try to keep healthy.

Actually, the reason why I go to gym because I want to go to Bali this December. I want to be in better shape. Well, that was my purpose before something ruined it. Well, one the bosses at the office told me that we are going to make a movie, Yeay!!!! but the thing is, they need me to help them...... D’oh.... Since they wanted to start the production next year, i meant early next year, so there will be no Bali for me this December! Goodbye my precious Bali.... So, after they decided on my life like that, hell, why not I work as hell! Yes! Now i have two “other offices”, like this two production house that pay me better than my office. Pay me better in a way, that pay me based on projects, but they do pay me good! Actually, I can quit the office and just work for both of them, but the thing is, I love making movies, and this is my chance to really learn how to make one. Like really being involved in a production. It’s challenging, and this is what I’ve been looking for. So, here I am, been busy like hell, well, not really now, I’m enjoying the life at home, since I’m almost like a month didn’t go back home, and have bitsy tiny time to update you guys about my life.

I have been having fun though with the real job, been to Wamena, Papua. Fantastic place...

Secondly, about the love life... This is the hardest part. I don’t know what happened between us, I’ve tried everything, but it seemed it just won’t work out. I did everything he wanted in a relationship, but now, it’s just.... I don’t know.... got lost, with the love feelings that I have for him.....

This afternoon, two words came out of my mind, bipolar disorder, yes, I’m so afraid that’ll happen again if I loose him, but I have to be strong right? I’m so pathetic and weak....

Well... I don’t know what will happen in the future, all I can do now is only do the best, right?

New Layout!

Menyenangkan!

Seorang teman membuat hari saya cukup menyenangkan... Dia membuatkan saya layout untuk plurk saya.... temanya Andy Warhol! Hie3x... menyenangkan... :)

Kembali ke....

Yesh! Gw kembali ke rumah sakit, 4 hari, diagnosa penyakit? Undiagnosed! Ha3x! Gejala Db ada tapi bukan... Gejala tipes ada tapi juga bukan... Bingung khan? Nyokap memutuskan akhirnya gw di rumah sakit aja, soalnya tromobosit juga turun mendadak....

Di detik-detik keberangkatan gw untuk berangkat ke Papua, kenapa harus sakit sih??? Untung banget sih diundur jadwalnya, karena si klien juga sibuk bener... Keq3x...

2 minggu yang cukup menyebalkan di rumah dan di rumah sakit, karena 1 minggu pertama, asli gw gak bisa ngapa-ngapain. Makanan semua rasanya jadi aneh, kata adek gw sih itu karena pas panas gw mencapai 40 derajat, yah semuanya jadi aneh, enzim dan sistem imun gw berubah total. Sebel banget sih, gw gak bisa makan 1 minggu pertama, karena semua yang masuk di mulut gw itu rasanya aneh, even rasanya air minum itu juga aneh! Gw mencoba minum jus... pwwweeeehhhhh!!!! Pengen nangis rasanya... Tapi mau gimana lagi.... 

Yah bener juga sih keputusan nyokap buat masukin gw ke rumah sakit, karena akhirnya gw dikasih obat mual, dan obat apalah itu lagi yang bisa bikin gw bisa makan. Makan bubur terus plus lauk2nya sih.. dan gradually makanan itu satu2 bisa gw abisin, walaupun pas di hari terakhir gak gw abisin, karena tiba-tiba gw ngidam mcd... Hahahhahahhaaa!!!

Hari kepulangan gw dirayakan dengan memesan PHD! Rada kalap makannya.. sambil tidur dikit, karena gw masih pusink buat duduk, tapi dahsyat bok! Gw bener-bener makan! Nyokap sih senyum-senyum aja, secara akhirnya gw bisa makan.... Keq3x... 

Ya sudahlah, gw mau sehat lagi nih... Balik sudah ke kantor... Secara mau berangkat ke Papua.... maarriiii!!!!!!!

Clueless.....(?)

I had fever last night... but I made it through.. Lol... well... now it's easy for me to get sick when I overworked... My friend told me to "talk" with my sickness, and "it" tells me to rest all day, then I should... So, I did go home a bit early last night, around 7 pm, back to my beloved room, and straight directly sleeping. Wrapped up tight in my blanket to get all the sweats out..... 

I woke up this morning a bit light and fresh, the last night sleep was helping me a lot, but yeah, I went to the office late...

I will not lie that I miss my boyfriend, he is on-leave for a week, so I'll be meeting him next week, I do hope we can talk when he already comes back to the office. Talking about things, catching up some stuffs, what has been happening in this week... etc etc etc...

When I got to the office this morning, suddenly I'm feeling in the mood for making photos of me! Yeay! A bit narcism! Ha3!!!!

I'm a bit clueless today, what should I do and everything, since there's a person who already resign and not updating me with the work which the person left them to me. *clueless*

Well, here comes the weekend! *smiling*