stick with...

stick with who? Yap, ladies and gentlemen, I need a boyfriend! hahahahahaa.... silly huh? But that's the truth, I miss having a boyfriend, especially the kisses... Hohohohoho.. But I know that right now I'm not ready yet to have one, because the fear that still inside me.. The fear of getting hurt... I don't know how many chances that I've missed because of that... But it's a lesson though for me... For not in a hurry to have someone again.... I don't know for how long, but until I'm ready...

Once my friend asked me if I wanted to have children, I said of course, but for me, I'd rather be a single parent, or not married to the father. I guess, i was scared to have the real family because of the situation in my own family now. My dad who's busy with his mistress, my mom that doesn't love my dad anymore but still dedicated to my dad and my brother that doesn't know his way... Me? I'm just simply lost in the middle..... Really don't know where or what to do.... Just continuing the boring life... Life is indeed quite boring lately.

What I feel now is just a big empty space in my heart and my mask is perfectly still on my face. The mask that I wear every single day, especially if I wwere with the family. The "happy family" mask, and it does work all the time... What a silly life... Wasting time and energy I realized that... But isn't that what everybody doing? fakin their life??? It's for you to answer that..

Back to the topic... with who should I stick with? I really don't know. if I already have one, I'll tell you guys :)

"i wanna stick with you forever - Stick With You (PCD)"

a daughter's scream

How could he did that to my mom??? be a professinal dad!!! and that biatch!!! gosshh!!!!she should find somebody else!!! not my dad!!!

yes dad, I've read all her sms in your inbox.. and I hate her!! I hate you!!!!!
I lost my respect for you!!! I don't know until when I should wear this mask in front of you and her.Don't blame me and armando for not rspecting you anymore. Though you see me and armando often arguing with mom,but that doesn't mean you can do this to her. We love mommy!

I don't care now, I'll show the world one day that you are not as perfect as you think!No dad, now you are not prefect anymore... Not a perfect dad, not a perfect man..

Please dad, before I'm going crazy with your atitude....

is it....?

These few days, I'm just wondering, is it true what I've felt for him? Jealousy and wanting to be near him always..... Do I really fall in love? I don't know what to do anymore about this feeling. I'm sad if he couldn't meet me, and I almost cried when he sad that he will go back to his home town.

Last night I met him and his friends, and of course with my friends, and I was so happy to know that he cancelled his returning home. But when I told him that I was happy, he felt uncomfortable if he stayed longer that he has to stay. and.... and I was... sad.. truely sad, and then I really don't know what to do.. I didn't call him today, though he told me last night that I should call him this morning. But still, I'm afraid to call him... But I miss him!!! I miss the way he talked, and when he hold my hand.... I miss those things when I around him. He hugged and kissed me last night on my cheeks before we said goodbye.

GOSH!! I really don't know what to react now, I wanted to call him, but I don't want him to feel uncomfortable because of me... me who pushed him always to meet.... It was almost everyday I met him....

I was so happy last night when I knew he will have another interview, and I expected the result will be great too. I want him to stay here... stay in this city... I don't want him to go anywhere again... Am I a selfish person?

Now, I just want him to know that I want him to stay here... Near my heart.... As for myself, I'm confused about my feelings......

Dear God, is this love.....again??? or just another test for me???