stick with...

stick with who? Yap, ladies and gentlemen, I need a boyfriend! hahahahahaa.... silly huh? But that's the truth, I miss having a boyfriend, especially the kisses... Hohohohoho.. But I know that right now I'm not ready yet to have one, because the fear that still inside me.. The fear of getting hurt... I don't know how many chances that I've missed because of that... But it's a lesson though for me... For not in a hurry to have someone again.... I don't know for how long, but until I'm ready...

Once my friend asked me if I wanted to have children, I said of course, but for me, I'd rather be a single parent, or not married to the father. I guess, i was scared to have the real family because of the situation in my own family now. My dad who's busy with his mistress, my mom that doesn't love my dad anymore but still dedicated to my dad and my brother that doesn't know his way... Me? I'm just simply lost in the middle..... Really don't know where or what to do.... Just continuing the boring life... Life is indeed quite boring lately.

What I feel now is just a big empty space in my heart and my mask is perfectly still on my face. The mask that I wear every single day, especially if I wwere with the family. The "happy family" mask, and it does work all the time... What a silly life... Wasting time and energy I realized that... But isn't that what everybody doing? fakin their life??? It's for you to answer that..

Back to the topic... with who should I stick with? I really don't know. if I already have one, I'll tell you guys :)

"i wanna stick with you forever - Stick With You (PCD)"