is it....?

These few days, I'm just wondering, is it true what I've felt for him? Jealousy and wanting to be near him always..... Do I really fall in love? I don't know what to do anymore about this feeling. I'm sad if he couldn't meet me, and I almost cried when he sad that he will go back to his home town.

Last night I met him and his friends, and of course with my friends, and I was so happy to know that he cancelled his returning home. But when I told him that I was happy, he felt uncomfortable if he stayed longer that he has to stay. and.... and I was... sad.. truely sad, and then I really don't know what to do.. I didn't call him today, though he told me last night that I should call him this morning. But still, I'm afraid to call him... But I miss him!!! I miss the way he talked, and when he hold my hand.... I miss those things when I around him. He hugged and kissed me last night on my cheeks before we said goodbye.

GOSH!! I really don't know what to react now, I wanted to call him, but I don't want him to feel uncomfortable because of me... me who pushed him always to meet.... It was almost everyday I met him....

I was so happy last night when I knew he will have another interview, and I expected the result will be great too. I want him to stay here... stay in this city... I don't want him to go anywhere again... Am I a selfish person?

Now, I just want him to know that I want him to stay here... Near my heart.... As for myself, I'm confused about my feelings......

Dear God, is this love.....again??? or just another test for me???