tired...

I'm tired... Just as simple as that... I'm tired fooling around and I'm tired pretending that I'm fine, but I'm not!

I'm sick of these lies that I've made!!! But I have to... I promised him, my boyfriend, to give another chance to have him prove that his love is true and sincere, and worth enough to have my love.
But the thing is, I don't love him anymore.. I'm in love, truely in love with somebody else, and it was my love long before I have a boyfriend.
Just because of my stupidness, once I ran away from the love that he offered me, because I was scared to get hurt again.
But then again, when I met him again, those feelings that I've been hiding from him, it came out loudly with tears...
DAMN! I'm still in love with him and I'm miss him so much! I miss his eyes, and the way he looked at me...
I miss the little things that we had before I ran away to another man... He knew that I'm dating a guy, but that didn't stop him at all from loving me...
Though he has a fiancee also, he still loves me... and I love him so much!

Now I'm just simply lost in my own messy world.... I need help....