truely lost

Just as simple as that... I'm just lost in my own mess.
I want a steady and comfortable relationship... I'm so tired with all the relationship I have, especially the one I'm having now.
I want to be conquered.... I want to be sure that the man is all above me.... In a way, that he will guarentee that my life will be perfect with him.
Until now, not one of those guys that could fulfill my needs.
Is that really difficult to ask? A simple man with simple mind, able to defeat my ego and independent...
That's all I ask... Nothing more.... I will love him more than he could imagine... I'll be loyal to him..
More.. I'll be a devoted wife if he's ready to marry me!!!

Well, I have to admit that not just that... He has to fulfill my family's standart, and especially in the eyes of my dad!
Until now, only one guy could do that, but with him, I don't feel what I want, only what I need... And that's not right..
But still, I'm scared facing the relationship that I have now. I don't know what to do!!!

*Sigh*.... The one that is with me now, I don't in love with him anymore, since all the things that he has done to me.
I'm not really sure that he really loves me or my money? Dugh!! I'm broke whenever he's around!
The one that I love now, I'm just in love with him, that's it, but I don't know why, everything looks....so wrong...

I just want to be loved..... and love will feel right... if the person is right......