what's on my mind these days..

1. what did you do last night before you sleep?
--> sms my friend and told her that I won't forget him, but have to forget the love-shit-it-happens-again, so i won;t make the same mistake...

2. what did u do this morning when you wake up?
--> charged my phone

3. what song do you recently hear in your room?
--> a lot!!!

4. did you sleep in your room last night?
--> yeah...

5. what's your room like yesterday?
--> like usual

6. do you enjoy being alone?
--> NO!!!

7. are you a daydreamer?
--> sorta, yes

8. where's your favorite place to daydream?
--> office and car

9. what kind of music do you enjoy the most?
--> 80s and 90s

10. if you wear a shirt, what would you look like?
--> like usual i guess

11. describe your favorite moment?
--> my graduation day I guess

12. what do you like most about being alone?
--> spend a lot to myself

13. can you hangout with anyone?
--> indeed

14. what's your hair like today?
--> messy

15. have you taken a bath today?
--> yeahhh

16. who do u wish to spend the rest of ur life with?
--> Mr. W or Mr. Calm

17. who do you adore?
--> Mr. W and Mr. Calm

18. if you were alone in a cafe what will you be doing?
--> smoking and starring at ppl

19. would you rather have a cup of tea or coffee
--> coffee please..

20. do you believe in wishing star?
--> something like that,,, yeah

21. which do you believe the most, fairy or wishing star?
--> wishing star

22. do you like chocolate?
--> YESSS

23. do you like to read?
--> VERY!!

24. right now, would you rather be in your room with a good book/movie or somewhere else with your friends?
--> in my room, with a good movie and books

25. what's your favorite lyric today?
--> really don't know....

26. what's the most thing you expect in 2006?
--> uhm....going to Cannes probably...

dreamin'

He's just too handsome!!!! so unreachable, he's busy and rarely comes to the office... Oh Mr. Calm, those deep eyes you have, just stolen my breathe whenever you are around me... and you were guessing that I'm a romantic-type of person.... well, not really correct though, but for you I can be.. *damn, girl!*. Yes!! I like him a lot!!!! Whuaaa.... He's just too..too..too far.... Wish you can hear what my heart says when I'm near you....

The Loner Girl

Lonely nights have passed me
Many times I was and am wandering alone
Days to nights everydays
The loner girl
More lonely I've felt

Such a surprised when love strucked?
Don't really get it what
Don't really know why
But it's not love I guess

Stronger I'm not becoming
Weaker in every step I take
Sadder in every event in my life
The loner girl is still here

Couldn't wear this mask anymore
Will I burst my tears again?
It's been awhile I didn't cry
Should I keep this mask again?

My lips try to make a happy curve
Still my heart cries for help
My thoughts eager to put the happiness
Still though my vain is crying

The loner girl....
Is crying for help.....

@ d office....

I tried to say it to him many times, and I finally said it to him yesterday.... WHATEVER!!!!

Stucked at the office on saturday noon, just got guests from Bangkok.... And now.. alone again.... a real loner.... dam dam di du dam dam....

blank

indeed it's a blank day. Clueless of life. Seriously, don't really get it what's the meaning of.....LOVE and OBLIGATION!!!! SHIT!

Last night went to Pet's house after a single call from his precious mommy who wanted me so much to accompany her to go to the hospital to bering Pet there. She told me that he's getting wierd everyday, and surpringsingly, she asked me why?!?! Simply a straight answer, I don't know why....

After a long talk and dicussion, finally we agreed that we are going to hospital this wednesday noon, and I should be arriving at his place around 3.30. Should I? I'm confused....

Can I just ask for someone to take me away for this mess?? Someone who loves me and wants to save me from anykind of mess that I'm doing now..... Really wish....

ketemu lagi

Bukan suka atau gimana, tapi kadang sesuatu yang berdateline bisa membuat gue malas2an.Aneh? Gak juga siy, karena datelinenya besok, jadi gue yah....mungkin akan gue kerjakan maleman dikit.Wakakaaka...bego!! Secara gue baru nyampe kantor pas jam makan siang, jadi yah waktu bermalas-malasan dikit itu juga perlu.
*dijitak deh gue*

Semalem akhirnya ke rumah Datuk Maringgi. Ketemu ma maknya, mari kita sebut beliau camer wannabe....dan my beutiful auntie juga teman2nya.Nyampe di sama, langsung diminat untuk nelpon anaknya. Secara anaknya rada2 gelo, yah maknya minta gue nelpon ke temennya..Temennya yang gue berusaha bgt gak ketemu!!! Huh!!

ttuuuuttt... (nada sambung)
A: Ya, tante?
G: Where are you?
A: Titsi?
G: who else, dumbass?
A: Radio Dalam
G: with?
A: Ika and greg, and Peter...
G: I know he's with you, that's why I called you
A: what time are you going home?
G: Couple of minutes...
A: WAIT THERE!
G: what the...
A: just wait!!

tuut tuut tuuut... *shit, he hang up!*

G: lagi di radio dalam, tante.
T: Rame2?
G: Iya, sama Ika, Ali, dan Greg...

30 menit berlalu

T: tolong telpon lagi deh, tanya pulang jam berapa?

ttuuuuttt... (nada sambung)
A: yah..
G: what time are you gonna finished?
A: we're on our way there
G: There where? here?
A: yeah!!
G: everybody?
A: Ika and greg are coming also
G: what?
A: Just wait there!!!
G: oo..okay
A: WAIT!!
G: yeahh...

tuut tuut tuuut... *damn, what's up with these people?*

G: lagi otw ke koq tante
T: siapa aja?
G: semua
T: ngapain?
G: gak tahu, ada yang mau dimongin kayaknya
T: ok deh..

duh, ngapain yah? Koq gue jadi males gini. Khan rencana gue adalah menghindari si datuk maringgi aka Peter itu.Gue males bgt niy.... tapi yah, mau gimana lagi, secara paling muda yah diantara teman2 dia, gue harus nurut.

jam 10.15, pas lagi makan malam yang super telaattttt!!!!

A: hallo tante..
I & G: good evening, mam....
T: oh hello.... masuk... makan yukkk.. have you had your dinner?
A: oia, udah.... *ngelirik ke gue*
I: We have something for you
G: what?
P: let's sit..
A: yeah...

setelah duduk manis.... koq peter ngeliat gue terus yah? Emang siy udah hampir 2 minggu gak ketemu....

dan bla bla bla....omongan yang gak jelas, yang intiya pokoknya I have to be with him!! dugh...guyss... hello.... I want to fall in love with a guy!!! not arrangement!!! yang bisa gue katakan hanya.. "heheheheee...." that's it!! gak ok bgt deh guee!!! Do I have to really get through this arrangement thingy? His mom really wants me to be with him, although my mom says nothing about that.

DUGH!!!!!

just know... stupid me!!

I just realized about him.... Juz caled him Mr. Calm. at the office, met and talked to him closely for the first time, suddenly my heart beat fast. He's handsome!!! His deep eyes somehow makes me couldn't turn the other way, but for the sake of professionalism, sometimes I looked at him for a sec... He's handsome... Huhuhuhu...

I got this rama and shinta merchandise from Mba I. She told me that it worked for her to get her a boyfriend and then became her husband. Don't really believe in that, but nothing to lose just to try it.. Hahahahahaa....!!!!

keju........TAN!!!

aneh gak sih kalau kata "surprise!!" diganti dengan kata "kejutan!!"
Wakakakaka... too weird man.... tapi itu yang gue dapet pas jam makan siang..
Si oknum P yang request untuk diganti jadi oknum neneng... hahahhaaa..
bo!! loe tuh laki!! masa neneng? yah maklumlah kalau memasuki pubertas ke 2.
Wakakaaa....

tenaninut tenanit (bunyi hape yang amat standart)

G: Yah, Letitsia.
P: Hallo? sibuk gak loe?
G: Ha? siapa niy?
P: sibuk gak loe?
G: Gak terlalu sih. Siapa siy niy?
P: Pancasila sila ke 4 apaan bo?
G: WAKAKAKAKAKAA.... Ya ampun bo!!!!
P: Hahahahaa... gak makan siang loe?
G: belum kale... masiy belum beres juga kerjaan..

dan bla bla bla yang omongannya tetep mengarah ke pelacuran dan daerah selangkangan.
btw, serius punya loe cuman sebesar jempol?? Wakakakakaa...

entahlah, tapi gue merasa senang aja, ada yang bisa bikin gue ngakak ampe dilemparin kacang ma orang2 kantor gue.

anyway, oknum Neneng.... wakakakaa... tenks ya bo mau nelpon 1/2 jam...
Sampai ketemu di hotel bintang kejora terdekat!!!

wkakakakkaaaa.... love you beibeh neneng!!! inget yak bo, kalau gue belok kiri berarti loe ma gue akan berada di ladang yang sama.... hahahahaaa.....

the hardest question ever!!

after lunch....after I cried... he came to me... it's been quite long though didn't talk to him or chat.... miss you V....

V: do u like him?
daashhhh....dalem sekali pertanyaan ini!!!!!!!

G: do i like him?
G: i don't know
yap, me and my stupid answer......

V: oke, gw ulang pertanyaan gw yah...
V: do u like him?
V: pilihan jawabannya mudah kok
V: ya atau tidak...
babe.... don't repeat that..hixhix..enuff is enuff....

G: gak tahu
again, me with my very stupid answer...

V: oke berarti kalau boleh disimpulkan tidak suka sama dia...right?
G: mungkin
tambah gak ok!!!!

V: oke next, apakah ada kemungkinan kamu suka dia?
G: gak tahu....
titsi semakin begooo.....saudara saudara

V: itu dengan 1 syarat mutlak!! kamu harus suka dia dulu !!!
V: kalau gak, mendingan gak usah dech hehehehehe
V: you have to be in love with your self first, and then you can be in love with other
daasshhh....berasa kesamber petir.....

dugh V, really don't want to say...I'm just being silly about this shit....

again....after I got back to the office..... P came with the same exact question!!!!

P: pakabar mbem?
gak sopan deh ini org....jitak nih...

P: lha elonya suka apa nggak sama dia?
duh kenapa pertanyaan yang sama harus kluar dalam satu hari??

P: ya abis gue tanya lo suka ama dia apa nggak elonya malah gak jawab2
G: masa?
G: kapan nanyanya?
titsi bodohnya nak dirimu....

G: suka apa gak???
G: pertanyaan yang sulit
P: koq sulit?
G: entah....terasa sulit menjawab itu
G: aneh yah?
(ANEH ABES2AN!!!!! Huhuhuuhuuhuhuuu)
P: he-eh..
P: supposed to be very easy when you REALLY ARE in love with him
dalemmm sekaleeeee bang Djaliii!!!!!

G: i don't know love anymore....
jawaban yang cukup diplomatis......keqkeqkeqkeq..mungkin bentar lagi gue akan dijitak ma oknum P ini... hahahhahaa......

thx anyway for reminding me of that critical point....

so....do i like him???? apart from this arrangment thingy??? You tell...me..

another about "me and him" conversation

eneg gak siy baca entry-an gue cinta mlulu isinya? sama siy, eneg juga, tapi semalem itu rada2 emang topiknya gue gitu di percakapan antara gue, spupu gue and temen pinoy gue.

They thought that I'm being so nice to Pet, so Pet takes advantage on me? Am I stupid or naive? I really don't know about that though. One thing for sure that I'm afraid that he'll get angry. Yeah, stupid reason....

G: H kinda cute though..
P, Tr, & A: WHATT???
Tr: wait wait, is there something wrong with your vision?
A: we have a free eyes check up tomorrow at school. Care to join?
G: Damn you guys, I'm serious...
P: ok...but why so sudded?
G: I don't know. I just realized it when I saw him brought his CPU with him and bang... Yeah, he's kinda cute..
Tr: OK titsi, I get your point...
A: But...why him?
G: what? Explain that to me about your question...
A: yeah... I mean.. so sudden.... why him? And he's young!
G: excuse me.. He's just 2 years older than me..
P: Pete is 8 years older that you..
G: yeah..and NOT MATURE!!!
Tr: what's this?
P: He cares about you, you know..
...(A went to the barber shop to have a massage and creambath)...
G: yeah right... like you know...
P: no, seriously... he does..
Tr: yeah, he does, in his own way... I guess.
G: Hahahahaaa... Yeah right..
P: no, really. I've asked him about that. And the way he answered it, he looks serious.
G: the time when you were talking with him at Wendy's?
P: yeah..
Tr:Titsi, you have to be more.... more... uhm... challenging to him
G: huh?
Tr: you know, don't allow him to intimidate you more. In a way that he realizes that he needs you....
G: Well, there's a time when I didn't call him at all.... I was busy at the office.... Then his friend asked him whether I called him or not, and do you know what he answered?
Tr: what?
G: he told his friend that I forgit him!! angrily!!
P: that's good..
G: what??
Tr: it indicates that he felt being ignored...
G: gosshhh!!!!!!

dang!!! the conversation went on and on untill 11pm...@ CITOS!!! and still... I don't know what to do with him....

Ditty - by Paperboy

Yo, this is how I'm comin' for the nine deuce
Another fat, fat track
So Rhythm D, pour the orange juice
And let's relax while sippin' on yak
Because it's like that
I'm clostraphobic, so Paperboy wears pruple lactive
I wear a jimmy for the skins
Cuz it's a long trip
Front row seats, aiyo I know she's on the nine inch
Just to get a peice of the green
But she's an undertaker
Now you know the Paper is an around the world heart-breaker
Me be singin' first, but yo, had to have a breakdown
Playin' you fools, so now you know why my belly's round
Takin' the rap back up and scoopin' up crowds just like a steel shovel
Not from the ghetto, but yo, takin' it to another level
Let the beat ride, but hold on to your women, G
Cuz now that I'm rich so many women wanna do me
It make a man say "damn"
I'm finally taxin' more play than homey Sam
But let me speak to the weak, I mean the rookies
My time is help up, extremely for cookies
Just let me clock this groove in ninety two
Hey, you don't bother me and I sure 'nuff won't bother you
And ah, you just watch a brother flowin' like Niagra
Think before you step, because these niggas just might stag ya
Although I'm labeled with the black fade
It's gold d's on my four and gold lex, cuz I got it made
I broke the veto once again because I had to
And just like Jody Watley, baby girl, I can have you
Just let me work this track, and yo, any way is ok
Your place or mine, all night until the next day
Unh

[Chorus]
Do the ditty if you want to
Because then I can see if I want you
Just do the ditty-ditty if you want to
Because then I can see if I want you

Now here we go from the top
Second verse of the same song
With the conclusion, all should be happy with ding-dong
It's just a mad park a grip, G
It's like every nickel and dime nigga be like
"See, don't you remember me?"
A hustler, and it's on with more hoes to lego
Keep 'em chunky like Prego, so they can play with my eggo
I have a tendancy to flow, start off with my own groove
Pick up the mic, and all of a sudden, I see high movin'
Guess it's like magic, and Paperboy is the magician
If I was a vaccum I'd be suckin' up competition
Let it ride again, and yo, belive I got my own thing
Straight Bahama hoes so miss me with the chick from Soul Train
And I'm a break my note, just to show up token
Tote on his ass when I scoop him, cuz we bud smokin'
A black man tryin' to make it and that ain't no fair
But just like BeBe and CeCe, I'll take you there
Huh

[Chorus]

Now here we go
Uh, let's take a trip to another land
Park a grip, come back and watch the hoes tan
Jump in the lex-o, and roll out to my cabin
Believe me, my brother, more hoes than you can imagine
All on the ding-a-ling, just because the gold rings
But I'm like a ???, you ain't heard a damn thing
Make sure you got the jim hats, strapped for protection
Because to me, my life is more than my erection
And give me a hand, if you a fan, it ain't over yet
Cuz doin' the ditty with Paperboy makes the ocean sweat
Leave you kinda startled like the funk off of fritos
Make you man jealous, while hoes cheese like Doritos
It ain't my fault, I lay the piper with concern
And I ain't from Mount Vernon, but a brother's money-earnin'
And for those disagree, and then jack, that's a pitty
Just bob your head for Paperboy and the ditty
Yeah

[Chorus]

============================================================

gilaaaa.....gue kangen bgt ama ini lagu!!!!!!!! whuaaaa.....!!! do the ditty if you want to.... hehehehehee......

wednesday kagetan

sebelum makan siang:

Gue (G): Rusli, reelnya Sherina ada khan?
Rusli (R): ada mba, tapi di Interfilm.
G: Ngapain disitu?
R: Udah lama siy disitu. Lagi diberisihin.
G: Selesai kapan yak? Tolong dicek deh Rus. Mau dikirim seminggu lagi kalau bisa.
R: Abis makan siang yah mba..
G: Iye..

Abis makan siang..

R: Mba, kata org Internya, reelnya cacat mba
G: *mulai stress* cacat gimana??
R: Banyak se-ktres-nya (baca scratch)
G: trus gimana?
R: tadi gue udah nanya mba, kata orangnya kalau buat festival yah gak bisa
G: wadoh *mulai panik*, mau dikirim minggu depan ituh
R: yah, abis baru ditanyain siy. Saya juga lupa.
G: tunggu2... gue telpon Mas Toto dulu deh

nnuuuttt.. (bunyi telpon)
Mas Toto: Hallo?
G: Mas!! (bla bla bla bla..)
MT: APA?? (bla bla bla...trus gini gitu gini gitu)
G: ini mas, ada Rusli.
MT: Rusli!! (bla bla bla bla bla...)
R: Iya.... (bla bla bla.....)

*ditutup ma Mas Toto*

G: gimana jadinya?
R: lagi mau nelpon lagi.
G: film apalagi yang disana?
R: ada beberapa siy..
G: kalau gitu cek semua film yang disana. Gaswat kalau kayak gini lagi.
R: sip!

*panik mode on, langsung e-mail ke amsterdam, moga2 boleh telat deh*

========================================================

kalau dipikir2, gue udah 3 hari lost contact ma Datuk Maringgi gue. Gue gak tahu dia udah pulang dari Aussie pa belum, dan gue bermasalah ma temennya juga, sebut aja si A. So what gitu kalau gue kangen ma temennya lebih dari si Datuk Maringgi!! This feeling I have for A sometimes really annoying kalau gue lagi jalan ma si Datuk dan si A. A marah2 ke gue karena harusnya gue kangen ma si Datuk. Tapi mau gimana lagi? Gue branntem gak jelas ma Datuk dan emang jelas2 gue lebih sering ngobrol ma si A. Damn! Kenapa jadi begini? Gue memutuskan sudah sejak hari Senin, gue mau ilang dulu dari peredaran temen2nnya Datuk Maringgi dan A. Si G kemarin nelpon gue nanya si Datuk dan A. Gue bingung deh jawabnya. Damn....

Emang siy gue kesepian, tapi mau gimana lagi? Gue bener2 butuh untuk menghilang dulu, dan gue pengen tahu sampai di level apa si Datuk nyariin gue. Karena ampe sekarangpun gak ada kabar dari dia. Cape...

Gue pengen lagi sebenarnya suka ma orang dan melakukan pdkt-an2 gak penting itu. Tapi intinya tetep, gue takut sakit hati lagi!!! hixhixhixhx.... Seberapaun gue coba untuk tetap tersenyum tapi gue tetep merasakan kesepian ituh.