saturday afternoon

uhm.. it's saturday now, and guess where I am? I'm at the office!!! Yeahh.. *should I be happy about this?* Well, since that dumbass left to Australia for this weekend, it means that I have today for myself, I can do whatever I wanna do!! Including hang out with my friends!!! Which I'm going to do later... Meeting my friends around 3pm and after that having dinner with my famil at PIM 1. Isn't today a nice day or what? I can go gome earlier, and tomorrow I'm going to spend one whole day with my friends too.... Hehehehe...

Just talked with Ali, and he said that I should be very petient with him, and don't act as his girlfriend, but just as friend. Man, I did that always!! I'm not a kind of girl who always telling him not to do this and that. I just need him to pick up the fucking phone and tell me the truth where is he and with whom. If he wanted to lie, that's fine.. Because I wouldn't know anyway. If i knew later, I'm just going to ask him why he did that, and as usual, he's just going to stay silence. DAMN BOY! Yap, I discussed a lot of things with Ali, including his behaviour to his girlfriend, and friends, especially his girlfriends.

What else I want to write about? Dunno... Just waiting for RR to bring his passport and then I'm off to Djarum's office. But I think, he will not come. It's ok though. Because I can spend my few hours in the office. :)

rese!!!

DASAR LAKI2!!!

Tttuuttt�. (nada sambung yang standart dan lama bgt diangkatnya!!)

+ "Yah Hallo!!!"

= "Lagi dimana?"

+ "Hallooo halloo!!!!"

= "HALLLOOO DENGER GAK SIY?"

+ "Oh iyah�."

= "Ditanya lagi dimana??"

+ "Di jalan!!"

= "Jangan teriak!!!"

+ "��.."

= "Kemarin kenapa telponnya gak diangkat2? Udah 2 hari!"

+ "����."

= "Lagi dimana siy sekarang?"

+ "Jalan pulang�. Mau pulang�."

= "Kenapa gak diangkat??"

+ "�������������������"

= "WOYYY!!!!"

+ "�������������������"

= "TERSERAH!!!!"

- gue yang tutup donk telponnya.... spontan!!! hahahahaaaa.... -

gila pa pegimane yah ini laki, kalau gak mau dijodohin, bilang dong dari awal!!!! Khan gue juga jadi gak usah ngurusin loe!!! DAMN!!!! Semua bilang gue mesti sabar.... GIMANA CARANYA SABAR KALAU KELAKUANNYA KAYA T** GITUH!!!!!!! Semua ceweq disantronin ma dia!!! Gila yee... AUH AKHH!! Gue mau CARI PACAR!!!!!!!

Sekarang beliau lagi di Aussie ma maknya.... so?? Gue bebas gila!!! Biasanya jam segini, dia udah telpon, udah treak2 gue harus nunut dia... ampe hari minggu juga gitu boss!! Gila yak... Gue bener2 gak ada waktu istirahat!!! Sekalinya gue isitirahat, bablas 12 jam boss gue tidur!!!

Laper pula sekarang... trus gue mesti jemput sepupu gue dulu niy di trogong, abis itu cari makan. Anjrit, perut gue aseli gak enak gini gara2 makan kepiting. It's weird man!!!

PULANNG!!! CARIKAN AKU PACAR!!!! Pacar yang bisa mencintai akuhhh!!! Selamatkan aku dari diaaaa!!!!!! AAARRGHHHH!!!! -mulai gila....aku butuh main UNO *gak ok bgt*

another writing

jam udah menunjukkan pukul 19:02 *halah*

masiy di kantor loh bo!!! Nungguin ML, RR, TT, M NS dan teman2nya selesai rapat. Abis itu ngasiy passport...

heyyy... gilaaa... gue nemenin temen gue yang belum pernah makan Pizza bo!!! Seneng gila ne!!! Hahahahaa... sumpah deh... kocak abis, kayak di Fear Factor gitu. Ya ampyun deh.. selama 27 thn hidupnya, doi belum pernah makan Pizza *mungkin udah pas kecil kali Ded, loenya aja yang gak klimax makannya* hahahhahahaa... dari secuil kecil yang 1/4nya dimuntahin lagi karena bawang, akhirnya beliau memakan satu potong pizza dengan syarat gue nemenin dia makan. Damn, perut gue udah bega bgt ini.... Bega pizza!!! Halah... dang dang dang.... *ngantuk menyerang*

Duh AC kantor dingin bgt!!!!!!!!!

tttuuuuttt.....

"yap!"

"are you with him?"

"yeah, he's with me..."

"whare are you at?"

"Taman Anggrek"

"What the....?? What are you guys doing there?"

"I'm taking the photos. The photos at Bali"

"I thought you did take it"

"Nah.. I forgot"

"Why he didn't answer me fucking call?"

"I don't know. And he's cell doesn't off too"

"Tell him that I hate him"

(to him) "Yo man, she said she hates you.."

(him) "Who?"

(to him) "Titsi said so.."

(him) *laughed*

"I'm going out with somebody now"

"You? With who?"

"A guy"

"Just go, he doesn't care, you know"

"I know...that's why I'm going"

"Nahh.. you won't... I know you still at the office"

"Fuck... Yeah I know... a lotta things.... *no, i'm not* By the way, he's going to aussie tomorrow right?"

"Yeah I know. You wanna talk to him?"

"No. I'll call him later when I go home"

"Ok then titsi. SMILE!! He loves you!"

"No, he's not"

"How do you know?"

"I don't know... Hahahhahaa. Fuck you man!"

"Yeah right... Fuck you too, bitch!"

"Gotta work again, call you again, k'?"

"Ok, bye!"

"bye"

++ rokok gue abis deh++

"New, what do you own the world?
How do you own disorder, disorder,
Now, somewhere between the sacred silence,
Sacred silence and sleep,
Somewhere, between the sacred silence and sleep,
Disorder, disorder, disorder." - System of a Down = Toxicity-

BIATCH!!!

Darn!! I swear a lot these days..... Itu kata yang just popped up out of nowhere..... Gotta go niy.... Gotta go really quickly.... Can I be like Peck at The Mid Summer Dream? Just go wwwuuussshhhh wusshshhhh!!!!! Darn..... That biatch!!!

Last night.....

"Yo man, are you with Peter?"

"Who's this?"

"This is his beautiful gilrfriend....."

"Oh hey Anya, how are you?!?!"

"FUCK!"

"Hahahahaaa..... What's up?"

"Don't you ever teased me like that again! I hate you...."

"You know me.. Anyway, I'm at home..... I don't know where he's at... Why?"

"I called him and he didn't answer my fucking phone call... Shit... That dumbass.."

"Well, I don't know, he just called me 40 minutes ago"

"Shit...."

"Talked to you later, I'm talking to my friend on the other line"

"Ok Greg... Thx man.. bye"

=================================================

.................

"Are you sure that he's going to your place?"

"he supposed to, because he called me at 7, and he wanted to come over. I said, I'll be waiting for him..."

"Damn.. He did it again this time... he didn't answer my call"

"Well, you know him. A little bit woo woo"

"yeah...I supposed I have to bare with that one. I just afraid that he'll meet that biatch Anya"

"Hey don't worry, the last time I with him, he didn't answer her call.... not even returning the calls"

"yeah right, but he called her last sunday!! I guess because she was using other number, than she asked him to call him back.... shit man... I hate this situation"

"Well.... I really don't know where he's at..."

"Wanna go somewhere? Just you and me?"

"Shit, don't mess around with him, girl. I don't want to piss him off. You know already that he's jelaous now.... TO ME!!! TO HIS OWN BEST FRIEND!!"

"Hey don't yell... I noticed that. I guess because I talked to you a lot than to him...."

"Yeah...probs... You should go home now and sleep. Stop thinking about him. He's just like that.... You know...."

"Yeah, you're right. I should go home now. It;s kinda late though... And I'm still at the office...."

"You go home now, ok?. SMS me when you're home.... and try not call him before you leave, or you'll get another headache...."

"Thx Ali...bye.."

"Bye.."

============================

damn babe.....where were you at last night?

after 12...

I arrived at the office around 12... I was not feeling very good this morning, especially about my tummy, and both my arms are hurt because yesterday K' Lia's son, Marvin, wanted to be carried by me!! Although he's 2 1/2 years old, but he's heavy man!!! BUt, still cute... hahahahaahaa..

Hari Sabtu jalan2 ke PS ma Pet2 akhirnya nonton film Jim Carrey, Have Fun with Dick and Jane, I liked the film. It was funny!! We laughed all the time.... Hahahhaa.. afterwards went to Metro and saw watches... Unexpectedly, he bought me the watch... GUESS watch... He bought one for himself too... Then the rest of the day, we wore the wacthes... hahahaaa... and then went (again) to Ritz Carlton with Ali. It was fun though, but I guess he was jealous with Ali.... Baby, don't be, he's your best friend!!!

What else? Uhm... on Sunday again, I went out with him, with my cousin, Patra, and K' Lia's family, later on met Greg and Ali. Uhmm... couldn't ea anything, because I kept throwing out the food since Saturday. I guess the bullimic thingy comes back again.. Yeah.. will loose more weight!!! Hahahahaaa...

Well, gotta back to work now... Huhuhuhuhuh.... :)

surprisingly....

yap yap, still at the office, with plenty of surprise works!!! don't know what to say anymore, just have to do everything...and suddenly (again), I'm at my new level of the word "busy"!!! Yap, another task has been "scrolled" down to me..... I have to gather all the informations about company's films since the beginning!!! MAN, that's a lot!!! Hix, don't know really where to start. Because everything is a mess here.... what I need sometimes I just couldn't find it easily... Hix.... Can I get a raise? :P If someone from my company read this.... Can i get it?? *twinks twinks* hehehehheee....

just called Ali, and Peter's with him. The bad news was, Peter told Ali that I didn't call him at all!! MAN!!! I called him!! Although only once, but I did!! And he was at home... He said again to Ali that I'm too busy to call him.. What the ......?!?! Man, if you wanted to mess with me, just tell me, don't do it behind my back!!! Gosh!!! Well, Ali asked me to join them to Gelato. But I haven't finished my work!! You gotta wait!! I don't want to leave the office with the guilty feeling because I havent finished them.... Hix.. Please be patience, ok? :)

ugh....*tummy ache*.... headache again..... ugh.... hix....

"I do..??"

to day is the V-day.... I hate today than every days!! I don't know... It's just everything comes back... those not important memories and everything!!!! GOSH!!!!!!!!!

anyway, this morning I watched the Oprah shows at Star World. And guess what, the topic is aboout "Marriage"!! Damn!!!

Oprah said that when it comes to marriage, the bride will be very excoted and become unrealistic... Well, and then I recalled one of my friends said to me " wao dear, you really exciting about this arrange marriage".. and suddenly all the things that I've prepared was blown off!!! I realized that I am... I mean I was so exciting... and I'm the one who did the survey thingy and stuff, and he just there.... completely doesn't care.... Well then I know that we supposed to be in this thing together!!!!

The part that really interest me was, there's a girl who really wanted to have her dream wedding!!! and she didn't care how much that would cost!!! but the man did everything to tell her that they wouldn't afford it. Then the girl realized that yes, they didn't afford that much... and there was also a man who cancelled the wedding because he thought that this wasn't the right thing to do... that was so heart breaking!!! But the girl can accepted that and they are friends for 5 years now... and the guy has another relationship, while the girl stay single....

Seeing those events, now I'm just scared to say "I do".... saying those simple words yet has a very deep meaning in front of my parents especially. I just couldn't imagine if the marriage won't work out what will happen next!!!???!!

Now back to myself in this V-day, do I really in love with this guy? I don't really understand what's love anymore... Is it about two people being together united in the name of love or just just together because of some certain reasons? I don't understand.... I can't feel love anymore.... I guess it's just hurting me a lot if I thought about that...

It seems now everybody in office are so happy especially Mba I, she got this beautiful flower from her husband whom sent her without noticing her.. and yap, it's a like a suprise flower!! that's so sweet!!! on my way to the office, I was thinking a lot about that, whether the guy will give me flower or something like that. But when I tried to call him, those stupid fantasy just went off... he didn't pick up my phone... Well, I just have to bare with that...

gloomy entry

suddenly... i just feel empty.. i really don't understand what i've fely this evening.. everything semmed to be going on the wrong way.... i feel tired...

"titsi, the picture's not in his wallpaper anymore?"

"what????"

"since when?"

"since last night when we met?"

"you guys met?"

"yeah, why?"

"last night we had dinner together..."

"ow? where?"

"kemang.....at little baghdad.... did he meet that biatch?"

"i don't know. because he said that he was home last night. and he called me from his house"

suddenly everything was breaking up... i don't know what to say or to do... my half wanted to meet him and ask, the other half, said just ignore him for the rest of your life!!!!! damn!!! he's in my head, circling!!! and i don't know really what to do.. i tried many things to get rid off him.. even when i saw my beautiful man's picture, afterward he just popped up again in my head.... damn... i'm tired.. i'm tired of the uncertainty..... i know i was wrong from the first place receiving the arrangment thingy, but i never though that it'll be this hard!!! so hard to be sure about him.... i realy don't understand... i'm trying to avoid him tomorrow weekend, if i could.... i can't cry anymore.... i wanna scream, but i have to put away those feelings... i'm tired using this mask... i'm tired to be pretending again.... but now... i really don't know who i am anymore... i've lost my identity.... forever perhaps....

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behaviour. Allow your intuition(or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to
be. Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly
happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you
deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't
mistreat a friend. Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at
yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat youany differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything.* He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behaviour.* Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.

He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.

If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two Way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute
about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new
relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
What Oprah says about MEN!!


Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted. - Isn't this TRUE!!!!!

Never move into his mother's house.

Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.* Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Share this with other women... You'll make someone smile, another
rethink her choices, and another prepare.

--------------------------------------------------------

Got this writing from one of my best girfriends who really teaches me how to survive with and without men!!! love ya G!

hoaaahhmmm....nyam nyam

maksud dari judul? gak ada... emang lagi ngantuk aja... hahahhaaa..

pagi ini nyampe ktr jam 10 lewat.... tadi ngantri di bank buat masukin duit.....akhirnya setelah 1 thn gak ke bank, ke sana juga. panjang aja dulu ngantri-nya.. mana ujan pula.... halah...

pagi2 di ktr udah bongkar2 file lama karena harus nyari bahan2 film kuldesak. Gilee... dah lama bgt itu pelem masiy aja ada yang minta. Gak bisa minta yang lebih baruan lagi apa yak? Keqkeqkeqkeq.....

oia!! mau cerita!!! kemarin akhirnya gue makan siang bersama dengan anak2 gereja... yang ada "the beautiful man"-nya.... keqkeqkeq... dia itu soooo beautiful yahh.. gue gak berani melihat dia gitu... karena gue masiy sukaaa bgt ma dia.. tapi mau gimana lagi? gue stuck with Pet2.... My friend told me that don't sacrifice your feelings.. tapi mau gimana lagi? gue emang begitu orgnya!!! I'd rather see other ppl happy with what I do!!! But will I be happy with that? I don't really sure.... at least they do... Silly me huh? Oli kemarin sibuk ngegodain gue karena gue makan siang yang ada dia-nya juga.. hehehehee... gak tahu deh muka gue merah apa gak? Karena gue pake kaca mata trus berhubung mata gue juga lagi sakit. Hix.. he's so drop dead gorgeous...

With Pet2? What did I do? Went out with him... with my cousin juga... Trus tumben2nya dia perhatian ma gue, pas gue nguap2 dan bilang ke Ali kalau mau ketemuan malem gue gak sanggup, trus dia nanya "mau pulang aja?"...beuh seneng abess.. gue bilang "iyah!"... my cousin yang gak trima gitu... dia males pulang... so? jalan aja sendiri!!! gue aseli ngantuk bgt..... tapi abis nganter dia balik ke kost-annya, Ali bilang kalau istri temennya dia dan Pet2 melahirkan... so, kita ke rumah sakit asih deh... pas Ali dah jalan ke PIM, baru si Pet2 nelpon Erga kalau mau kesitu.... dari tadi keq bilangnya... keqkeqkeq... lalu lalu akhirnya bertemu dengan teman2nya.. yang notabene hampir semua udah menikah dan punya anak2, dan mereka merestui juga gue ma dia... well, that's a good start from them.. . Abis itu ngobrol2 panjang lebarrrr..... lucu bgt anaknya Erga!!! Pet2 disindir pula!! sial, gue gak malu bgt jadinya.. hahahha.... and guess what? gue ketemu Noi!! dan Nurul udah mau melahirkan!! WHUAAAAA... gue seneng bgt!! Tadi pagi si Noi SMS kalau udah lahir dan beratnya 3kg lebih!! gile gede juga.... hehehehe....

kira2 itu yang terjadi hari minggu kemarin..... sabtunya? gue jalan2 doank ke TA dan akhirnya dia ngantuk dan bosan.... ya sudahlah gpp :)

*whuaaa.... lagi kedinginan di ktr!!!!

For GOD sake!!!

today is a chaoz!! s***! I don't have a good mood at this time moment... really don't!!! AAARRGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

a peck

www.dictionary.com

v. pecked, peck�ing, pecks (pk)

v. tr. Informal. To kiss briefly and casually.

n. Informal. A light quick kiss.

kiss lightly [syn: smack]

www.thesaurus.com

Main Entry:	peck
Part of Speech:	verb
Definition:	bite
Synonyms:	beak, dig, hit, jab, kiss, mark, nibble, pick, pinch, poke, prick, rap, strike, tap

Main Entry:	kiss
Part of Speech:	noun
Definition:	peck
Synonyms:	buss, butterfly, caress, embrace, endearment, kissy face, mouth music, mouth-to-mouth, mush, muzzle, osculation, peck, salutation, salute, smack, smacker, smooch, sugar, touch

=================================================================

confused? don't be.... just feeling happy now.... :) have the butterfly thingy in my stomach... hahahahhaa.... he did that to me last night... a sweet peck... in KFC's parking lot...

You're Beautiful - James Blunt

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

PS: change "she" into "he"... hahaahahaa.....

I just fall in love deeply with this song, and it goes to WS who i know although you're single, but you are unreachable for me... Just face the truth, that I just never be with you..... GBU always WS...